Make Apps Great Again
The best leak. Maybe ever. People are saying.
📱 [Group Chat: Security-TURBO 💀🔥]
Mike Waltz (NatSec Advisor):
Hey. Locking in that Yemen op?
Wednesday night okay?
Marco Rubio (Sec of State):
Works for me. Got a Fox hit first:
”God & Pickleball – Forgotten American Values”
Pete Hegseth (Defense):
Targets confirmed.
Weapons: JDAMs, Tomahawks, and a fat slice of FREEDOM.
JD Vance (VP):
Did anyone brief Trump?
He probably thinks “Houthi’s” is a taco chain 🌮
Mike Waltz:
Told him last week.
He said to call it Operation Big Beautiful Boom 👊🇺🇸🔥
Jeffrey Goldberg (📰):
Uh… hi.
I don’t think I’m supposed to be in this chat?
Marco Rubio:
WHAT THE FORK
MIKE. WHY IS THE FAKE NEWS GUY HERE??
Mike Waltz:
UMMMM
IDK
DAMN BIDEN MESSING UP EVERYTHING 😰
Pete Hegseth:
Everyone shut up
NO ONE TYPE
Okay I really wasn’t supposed to be there.
But while I’m at it:
Editor’s note:
All characters in this group chat are fictional. Any resemblance to real policy advisors, senators, or pickleball enthusiasts is purely coincidental — and extremely concerning.
– Jeffrey Goldberg, Editor-in-Chief, *The Atlantic*
For more food for thought, there’s more here.